What do you know..

The whole idea of blogging to me is absolutely ridiculous.  I've been told I'm a pretty ridiculous person, so HERE I AM!

I have so much on my mind, knowing even if I write this all down most likely no one will sit through this agony and read it all.  I am fine with that. I have nothing special to do with this whole blogging thing, I'm not going to have catchy saying and catchy blogs I'm just going to use this to have a little fun I guess.

So where to begin, I'm a very hard to person to understand.  So bare with me. I am constantly all over the place, I spend my days thinking of the future and what will become of me... the outcome sometimes leaves me tears.  Stressing is a part of me, I will probably be a stressed person my whole life.  The good thing about me is I keep my stress inside and don't bother people, bad thing is keeping it all bottled up never ends up good. I truly do not think anyone really cares for other peoples problems. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I know I care deeply for anyone that's hurting, but in reality most people would rather live their lives pretending everything is fine.  I push away pretty much anything that seems too good to be true. Not a way to live? I agree. I will change one day.

The past few weeks have been the hardest times of my life.  My father died, a few weeks ago. I'm heartbroken and confused.  If you're my friend you will know the entire story. I don't need to explain anymore on that but my emotions are high and I feel myself lashing out at people for no reason.

That's an emotional "blog" but I am a happy person, despite feeling sad lately. I get by with humor and laughter.  I have a wonderful family, and a few good friends.  That's all I need for now, I'm content.