I'm not going to lie, though I do it often.
When someone matters, I'll tell them the truth,
just like the way I only smile when it's needed.
I don't overuse things, because things easily lose their meaning that way.
I think you're an amazing person.
You're smart, clever, witty, and incredible with words
And with the colors that flutter from each stroke of your paintbrush.
When I look in your eyes, I see the sky.
You're still a bird trapped in that cage of yours, and one day I'll be there to see you fly.

Oh and this is how I feel today...



In your eyes, I see things I know I cannot touch. I know not to reach for them. I let them touch me. And I cherish these moments that we’re able to share, however fleeting they may be.

Crabs can go suck a dick.

I hate crabs, no no not that kind of crabs.  Well, I'm sure I'd hate that too but I'm talking about the food.  Anyway I've been near crabs before but never really tried it.  For some reason while out to eat with my parents I decided "ohh I'll get crabmeat nothing could possibly go wrong." Smart idea? NOPE.  I came home feeling a little nauseous, had myself a glass of wine and went to sleep. I wake up around 4am and notice I can't really breathe that well.  I started to panic a little and felt so sick in my stomach.  I was sick (throwing up) the entire night and noticed my uvula (dangley thing in your throat) was so swollen. No joke it was so long and swollen that it was choking me (yeah sounds dirty haha). Definitely not dirty or fun. This happened to me one other time but that time I went to the hospital. This time I spent the entire night in the bathroom and panicking cause I could barely catch my breath.  Luckily my mom was in town so I called her around 9 am.  I was exhausted and feeling so awful. She quickly came to my place and rushed out to the store. Thank god my moms a nurse, so she immediately started giving me medication. I finally was able to fall asleep for a few hours. I woke up to see NOTRE DAME LOSING MISERABLY. Yeah good game guys, way to go! After I woke my stomach seemed to be all better but my throat is still awful.  All the stomach acid from throwing up burned my already swollen throat.  So I have terrible blisters and burns in my throat :(  It hurts so bad, but thankfully I have medicine that's numbing some of the pain ;)  Basically this was the worst weekend ever and ruined my amazing plans I had. FUCK YOU CRABS.



No no, love is not the answer. screw you crabs.
(I didn't actually eat any of these, I ate the other food that we made that doesnt try to murder me.)



sigh..

I want to be back in Ireland... away from cell-phones, work..everything.



All I want is this back in my life.

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”

Wonderful Weekend.

What a wonderful weekend! I traveled with my family to South Bend, Indiana to see the ND Vs. Pitt game.  Notre Dame is probably the most beautiful campus I have ever seen in my life. Hands down.  It is so much fun to me to be around so many people that share the same love I do for an sports team (haha).  I will post pictures soon of that.   The weather was beautiful, a little more sunny than I expected.  The walk around the campus got real difficult if you weren't able to be in the shade.  Somehow that isn't a major factor with all the beauty surrounding you.  If you are catholic or actually still have a religion you appreciate the campus so much more, seeing Touchdown Jesus, the Golden Dome, and all the different amazing churches was just breath-taking. OHHH and Notre Dame won, but oh of course it wasn't a simple win.  As always, it was a ridiculously stressful game.  Everyone that has a specific team understands how it feels when the score is so close you're just seconds away from feeling defeat or victory.  I hate the stressful feeling of that! They dominated the whole first half, and like most ND games they let the other team slowly come back.  They need to stop that! I thought I was having a heart attack (haha).  But they won in the end, and I am so thrilled!

How many times must one make the same mistake, before realizing it is just that?
I have fallen victim to my own self.
I pray that one day I will wake and be everything you made yourself believe I already was.
I had something that some fall asleep, counting sheep, wishing that they had.
I am selfish; I will be the first to admit my own faults.
I am on a mission to destroy, and I am the target.
Even as my fingers hover over these keys,
I picture your eyes following along, agreeing with everything I’ve written thus far.
Please don’t judge me, I do enough of that for the both of us.
I wish I could rewind time. I wish I could rewind time. I wish, I wish, I wish.
I am a broken record and the song that skips from my lips is yours.
I am at a loss for words. I am at a loss…

My latest obsession and your new obsession.

So I have really no use for this, besides occasional rant, so I've decided I'll use this to talk about bands I love..

Mumford and Sons. 

If that video doesn't make you love them, I will continue.....

This is a band that I feel I will love forever. I get tired of most bands I listen to but WOW, I don't know what it is about them but I can't stop listening. Besides the lead singer being delicious his voice is so amazing.  Their is so much emotion put into the songs, and the lyrics actually pull you into them and make you feel connected.  I'm real into folk-sounding bands, I love Irish folk music so hearing some of their songs pulled me in immediately.

Hopefully this shows up.  "Little lion man" is without a doubt one of my favorites. I suggest to anybody to just download the whole album, every single song is addicting.  This band seems so carefree and fun.  They remind me of people I met in Ireland, very humble. I don't know them personally but just following their music makes me hope that they're everything I think. I love their style also, so much.  I'm almost jealous of them, if I could travel and just create amazing music like this I would. Unfortunately I cannot sing or play an instrument. So I will continue to dream on, GOODBYEEE :)

On an exciting good note...

I am going to the Notre Dame vs. Pitt game this weekend in Southbend.  (I think, keep fingers crossed.)

My destination.

Sigh, the beauty.

Without a doubt, my favorite college campus. The artist in me can't get over beautiful landscapes and buildings. The atmosphere is wonderful, and I cannot wait.

That is all.  Although I love Pitt, my love for Notre dame is on an entire higher level.  If ND doesn't win I will be a very unhappy person.

What do you know..

The whole idea of blogging to me is absolutely ridiculous.  I've been told I'm a pretty ridiculous person, so HERE I AM!

I have so much on my mind, knowing even if I write this all down most likely no one will sit through this agony and read it all.  I am fine with that. I have nothing special to do with this whole blogging thing, I'm not going to have catchy saying and catchy blogs I'm just going to use this to have a little fun I guess.

So where to begin, I'm a very hard to person to understand.  So bare with me. I am constantly all over the place, I spend my days thinking of the future and what will become of me... the outcome sometimes leaves me tears.  Stressing is a part of me, I will probably be a stressed person my whole life.  The good thing about me is I keep my stress inside and don't bother people, bad thing is keeping it all bottled up never ends up good. I truly do not think anyone really cares for other peoples problems. Please correct me if I'm wrong. I know I care deeply for anyone that's hurting, but in reality most people would rather live their lives pretending everything is fine.  I push away pretty much anything that seems too good to be true. Not a way to live? I agree. I will change one day.

The past few weeks have been the hardest times of my life.  My father died, a few weeks ago. I'm heartbroken and confused.  If you're my friend you will know the entire story. I don't need to explain anymore on that but my emotions are high and I feel myself lashing out at people for no reason.

That's an emotional "blog" but I am a happy person, despite feeling sad lately. I get by with humor and laughter.  I have a wonderful family, and a few good friends.  That's all I need for now, I'm content.